Don't Wanna

I don't wanna' rush things and it will be here soon enough.....

But once the Thanksgiving festivities are over, IT'S ON!!! :o)

So looking forward to the Christmas (Yes, I said "Christmas", NOT "Holiday") season!!! Christmastime was one of my mama's favorite times of year. And she was NOT a last minute shopper, that's for sure. She would actually pick up things here and there throughout the entire YEAR, so that well before Christmas, her shopping was done. This was never more evident than the year she passed away. I can remember walking into our house that Saturday morning at 5am, after a 5 hour road trip from Oxford.... Amidst all the family, friends, and tears, were all of our Christmas gifts, wrapped and tagged. That was just the way my mama was.... Always putting others ahead of herself. Gosh, I miss her terribly, and can NOT believe that December 8th will be 15 years. But she loved this time of year and so do I. :o)

So, like I said, once the Thanksgiving festivities are over, IT'S ON!!! :o)

Random Stuff

Hard for me to believe that it's OCTOBER already! Of course, we're always busy with work and taking care of the boys. But we've got some other things going on this month too.... :o)

My sister's friend gave Ginny and I her tickets to the Rick Springfield concert at the Hard Rock last weekend. We had a great time! It was nice to have a girls' night for a change.

Later on this month, I am hosting a Scentsy party at our house. Looking forward to some more time with friends and selecting a few Christmas gifts while I'm at it.

Finally at the end of this month, we are going to a 1st birthday party for the son of a former student of mine. I am told it will be a costume party and that there will be hay rides and tons of fun for the kids, plus trick or treating in the neighborhood.... :o)

November brings my sister's (Ginny) birthday, Thanksgiving, and then my birthday at the end of the month. November 30th... Two reasons to celebrate that day! My birthday AND the end of hurricane season!

Now I'm not a big fan of the stores putting out Christmas stuff before Halloween.... But once Thanksgiving is over, bring on the SHOPPING and the holiday cheer!!!! :o) I am a member of our hospital system credit union, so I do the Christmas Club where I have them take a certain amount of money out of my check every pay period. The money adds up, then we get it out at the end of October. Even with all the crazy stuff we've had happen to us, I SOOO look forward to Christmas shopping now because I know I can enjoy it and won't have any holiday credit card debt to worry about after the first of the year!

Rounding out the end of this year and beginning the next.... Robbie will turn 4, yes four!! on December 31st... Time has really flown by.... We'll probably be having his party the weekend of Jan 8th... We're thinking about a bowling party this year. Hopefully he'll love it!!!

If anyone is actually reading this, what holiday traditions/plans do y'all have? Would love to hear them.... :o)

Letters.....

I was going through some things, trying to get rid of stuff that's been hanging around far too long.... When I ran across a letter I wrote to my mom in July 2000, a little over ten years ago, after she had been gone almost 5 years already. It's hard to believe that in less than 4 months, she will have been gone from here for 15 (yes, FIFTEEN) years! I would like to share the letter here.

Sometimes the memories just come flooding back. We try to fight them to no avail. You haunt our daydreams and our night dreams. We miss you fiercely, yet we must continue on with our lives. We have never let go of the love we hold in our hearts for you.

Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years. We all experience an indescribable ache deep down in the depths of our souls. How have we come this far without coming unglued? We press on with the day-to-day routines we have shaped into a fine art. When a memory of you comes back, we often fight it because we know the tears aren't far behind. But then we remember how completely and irrevocably you changed our lives just by being a part of them. We let go and we cry till we just can't cry any more.

Letting you go was the hardest thing we have ever had to do. Accepting the fact that you aren't ever coming back to us was the second hardest. The only thing that keeps us from falling apart completely is knowing that the love you had for us lives on within each one of us.

You always said that our faith would get us through times when nothing else could help. We believe you. Our faith in God has carried us through some of the darkest days we have ever known. You instilled that faith in us and we hope that we can do the same with our children.

Mom, you were and still are an inspiration to us. You sacrificed a lot so our needs and our wants could be met. We appreciate that, but most of all we still love & miss you like crazy.

You are always in our hearts!

Love,
Your Girls
(Penny, Amy, & Ginny)

I wrote this letter on 07/06/2000. I don't know that I ever shared it with my sisters. But I do know that they love her and miss her just as much as I do. We were 27, 21, and 16 when she left us, so we've done a whole lot of growing up in the past 15 years......I just hope that she would be proud of the women we have become.

Blessed

With all the crap going on at work lately and dealing with the stresses of trying to sell our house (we all know what the market is like right now...), I haven't been feeling very blessed lately....

Well, God must have known that I needed a good swift kick to remind me that every minute we have on this earth is a gift. And that we need to cherish those moments. My problems, however BIG they may seem to me, are teeny tiny in comparison to what many other people out there are facing.

Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to finally meet Kaytie and Avery in person today. Who knew that dinner at Pizza Hut (coupled with a keen sense of hearing) could make a grown woman (me) cry?!? What beautiful, precious angels.... I know Shyla & Phillip would be so proud as would big sister Haylie!

In 2 days, it will be the 2nd anniversary of when we lost those 3 sweet spirits. As we remember and reflect, let us thank God for every moment and every memory.

God Bless,
Amy

Why?

WHY do people want to try their hardest to ruin someone else's happiness?

Whether it be happiness in a relationship, a family, a career, etc...

Just WHY????

Let me just say that I feel like a total outsider at work. I love my job and I love that I am asked by our manager and our system director to branch out and help with new technology, special projects, etc. And I am NOT leaving. But I feel like I don't have a single friend in the pharmacy where I work. We've got some back-stabbing, talk about you when you're right around the corner, people where I work.

I have always been an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. And hard as I try, I have extreme difficulty hiding my feelings. Any advice y'all can offer on "How To Deal" would be much appreciated!

Thanks for reading!

Amy

We Never Know....

People have their reasons for the things they do or don't do.

Sometimes they share those reasons with us and sometimes they don't.

As much as I rely on Facebook to keep in touch with family out of town and friends, I found out something this week that I did not know.

On the one hand, it breaks my heart. On the other, I can't even begin to understand what it's been like to walk in those two pairs of shoes for the past 19 plus years.............

I love them both with my whole heart. We've lost touch and reconnected a number of times. But they will always be like a second mom & dad to me.

I wish each of them all the love, happiness, and fulfillment their hearts can hold. After all they've been through, they deserve it.

Happy :o)

I went to work this morning, then left at a little before 9:30 a.m. to go meet my stepsister, Cindy, for breakfast at Denny's. This may sound like nothing special to the rest of you.... Let me explain why it was such a BIG DEAL to me:

I have not seen Cindy in person since right after my mom passed away in December 1995. So it's been a VERY long 14+ years... For a couple of years now, I have been back in touch with her, my other stepsister Sandra, and my stepbrother Scott. Say what you will about Facebook, but I still think it's FANTASTIC!

I was nervous about seeing her at first. And when I saw her, she told me "You couldn't look more like your mama if you tried!" I take it as a compliment. I don't mind looking like my mom. :o) And I cried when I hugged her. Not a teary, mess up your makeup kind of cry, but a cry nonetheless....

And then, once we sat down and really started talking, it was like we had just seen each other 14 days ago instead of 14 years ago. Plus, Robert and Evan came to meet us for breakfast, so Evan got to meet his "Aunt Cindy" for the very first time!

I am hoping that sometime later on this summer, we will be able to see Sandra and Scott as well. That's when I feel like "all will be right with the world". I don't want to dwell on why we went so long without seeing one another. Hurt feelings, water under the bridge, whatever... None of that matters anymore.

So, if you're thinking about meeting up with a long lost friend or family member that you haven't seen in quite some time..... DO IT ALREADY! Family reunions ROCK! (Even if they only include a couple of members, and even if they only last an hour or so.... ;o)

Haven't...

1. Posted since January
2. Yet lost the weight I need to lose to get to a "healthy" number
3. Been to the gym at all this week
4. Quite adjusted to the time change yet
5. Been feeling well today
6. Had a girls' night in forever....
7. Seen a movie at the movie theater in several months
8. Gotten tired of coming home from work and hearing Robbie "spill the beans" about everything they've done that day
9. Put the boys to bed yet
10. Forgotten and NEVER will forget my FIRST LOVE. Yes, by God's grace, I've been fortunate to be able to move on and get married and have a family. I love my husband and our boys with all my heart. But that does NOT mean that my memories of Chris will ever fade. Here's to one of the cutest, funniest, most "people-loving" guys I have ever known! Our loss 19 years ago was Heaven's gain. And we WILL see you again. This I KNOW for SURE!!!

~Amy Beth

I never knew...

that cancer could move so quickly....

My great uncle (my Paw Paw's brother), Uncle Jimmy, was just diagnosed with cancer in November. He had a cancerous spot on his lung, cancer in the lymph nodes in his chest, and a small spot on the back bottom left of his brain. They tried radiation for a couple of weeks, but he was still too weak to start the chemo. On Christmas Eve, he was hospitalized for pneumonia. On Monday, Dec. 28, he went home on hospice. He passed away Friday night, 1/1/10. He was only 67 years old. And that's still way too young to die in my book......

My heart aches for my Aunt Mamie, my cousins Lisa and Gregg, their spouses Louis and Kim, my Uncle Jimmy's grandkids, Jimmy Louis & his wife Dana, Brandon, Brittany, Cameron, and Jason, and his great grandkids, Levi and Presleigh, and all of the rest of us (including me, of course) who knew and loved him. Words can't fix the hurt. It is so ironic and so sad to me.... As everyone else around the world is celebrating the BEGINNING of a new year, new decade, etc. we are mourning the END of my Uncle Jimmy's life here on Earth. But I believe he's in Heaven with the angels and God, and I look forward to seeing him again when God chooses to call me home.

Uncle Jimmy, we love you. We miss you. We will ALWAYS remember you.

Amy Beth