Thursday, July 16, 2009

This Boy...

was my best friend and my first love. Yes, even after 18 + years, I still love and miss him like crazy. We had some great times together, even after breaking up. :o) He became part of my FAMILY, so much so that my mom & my stepdad, along with my younger sister, grieved the loss of him just as much as I did.

Some may think that I should just "move on" with my life. Well, I am LIVING my life and I think HE would be proud of me for doing so. That does NOT mean that I have to FORGET about him. I love my husband and my boys with all my heart. I have told Robert many stories about this boy. We even talked at one point about naming one of our boys after him. Now I really wish we had. But my babies are Robert Kelly, Jr. and Evan Zachary. Their names suit them, and I'm sure Chris would be glad to know that! :o)

This Boy will always be a part of me. I will continue to remember the happy, the sad, the good, and the bad. It is ALL a part of me now. My deepest regret and source of the most profound sadness I may have ever known is the fact that This Boy NEVER got the chance to become a Man. I often wonder what life would be like if he were still here with us. Who would he have chosen as his wife? What would his children look like? What would he have chosen as his career? Would we still be close? Questions and ponderings that will never be answered or addressed... But I will always wonder.....

Christopher Joseph Hill, you left us far too early. You are loved. You are missed. You are remembered. Sometimes, when I'm having a bad day, I wish I could go outside, get on the riding lawn mower with you, and just ride and ride...... ;o) Maybe when my time comes and I get to Heaven, you'll take me for a spin???

All My Love Always,
Amy Beth